My one word for 2019 was BELIEVE. As I was praying about the word I needed to focus on in 2019 and the word believe kept coming to me, I thought God wanted me to focus on it so that I would believe more in myself.
You see, the last thing I thought I would be doing in my life is ministry. Speaking in front of people and sharing God’s message was not at the forefront of my mind. When that call came on my life, I felt a bit inferior.
I am an introvert.
I am a girl who is comfortable behind the scenes.
I am not comfortable when the focus is on me.
I am not a polished enough as a speaker.
The words in my head were anything but positive. The words that were in my mind were negative critiques of myself. I needed to shift my perspective. I needed to believe in my self and believe in God’s power to equip.
Throughout the year, God has shown me many aspects of the word believe. He showed me the many bible stories of those who didn’t feel equipped to spread His message and how HE equipped them.
I also learned to believe that God has a purpose for me, and that my job is to be faithful to whatever comes with my life. I will do my daily task and honor Him as I believe He is honoring me.
I believe it.
Even when it doesn’t feel good. Even when it hurts and is lonely and feels unfair.
They say that faith is believing without seeing. I learned it’s also believing without feeling. It’s believing in those moments when our hearts ache and our tears betray us by spilling over when we know better, but feel the pain anyway.
It’s not about always being in the happy place. It’s about believing even when the happy place isn’t ours to have. It’s about those times when we can’t see or feel the promise, but we BELIEVE in the promise anyway.
Faith and believing isn’t just a feeling. It’s believing despite our feelings.
And I do.
Blessings in the New Year!
Love and prayers,