After losing dad suddenly from a bee sting in July of 2010, and then losing Sara in September of 2011 from a disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis, I prayed so hard to just feel peace.
My head knew that they were happy and in their awesome new home in heaven, but my heart hurt so badly and I wanted to feel peace. I felt selfish to say I wanted them back with me, because I knew they had found the perfect peace only heaven can provide.
I decided in January of 2012 to focus on the word peace for the upcoming year. Each time I would read my devotions or study scripture, I would seek peace. It was amazing how many times in scripture God tells us how to find peace.
Now as I walk this cancer journey, I am once again focused on God’s word for finding peace. Our head can know the truth, and yet our heart doesn’t always feel it. It is so hard to get our head and heard aligned.
Isaiah 26:3 tells us…”You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
As I was going through some of Sara’s journals after she passed away, I found this entry that she wrote.
I’m not sure what happened that night that triggered what she wrote, but I believe that night she put her whole trust in God. She felt that perfect peace that only God can give us. Sara didn’t feel alone in her journey. Her head aligned with her heart.
God didn’t take away Sara’s journey with the disease, because He needed her to walk the journey for a purpose He had planned for her and the world. Sara knew that if she wholly trusted in Him, she would not be walking the journey alone. He would hold her up and take the burden she felt. It was in Him that she found perfect peace.
That is how I and each of you who may be walking a journey of pain, confusion, loss, etc. will also find the perfect peace that only God can give us. We need to step aside and put it in God’s hands. We must realize that our greatest purpose here is to live the life that God intended for us…not what our intentions are for our life.
The hurt and loss we feel may not go away completely, but I can tell you that I have found that peace that I was seeking. I wholly trust in Him.
Peace my friends!