As I wake up in the night, faced with the quiet of my own thoughts…I begin thinking of what is to come with a diagnosis of breast cancer. The repeated message from my little sister, Gitz, comes from a post she wrote titled “unknown.”
The unknown can be our biggest enemy sometimes… the thing we put most of our focus on and what we spend most of our energy trying to control.
I sometimes wonder if it’s actually more comforting for us to look ahead and live in the future and all of the unknown simply because we feel a desperate need to avoid the present we’re in.
Because, let’s face it, the present can be hard. We can be broke or we can be sick or we can be abandoned. We can be living in limbo in our marriages or in crisis with our jobs or aching for our children and their needs. The right now can hurt so badly that the only escape is to get lost into the unknown of those “what ifs” that give us the illusion of control.” ~Gitz
My “what ifs” began with all the decisions that I had to make when faced with a cancer diagnosis. The “what ifs” can lead you down a very scary and dark path, if you let it. What I had to remember is that the path is truly unknown, except to Him. That scary and dark path may not even be the one God is leading me down.
That’s when I had to surrender. I had to surrender to the One who did know.
Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
My prayer of surrender starts with the greatest commandment… “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
I ask God to give me an open mind. A mind that is open to His will. A mind that says, it’s not about my wants, needs and desires, Lord, but only what you want.
I ask God to give me a humble heart. A heart that is not about me. A heart that is here to serve you, to be your disciple in all that I face.
I ask God to give me a faithful soul. A soul that will give me the courage and strength to say yes to the road He has blessed me to walk.
So, as I face decisions…many of which have an unknown component to them, I do my part by gathering all the information I need in the known of today. Information from those professionals who have the education, knowledge and skills to provide me with some of the known.
Then, I surrender to the one who knows. The one whose purpose will prevail.